| What? |
[01 Jun 2008|03:16pm] |
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Um, that thing in my last post? I don't know what the gay it's talking about now, but when I answered the question, the question was "Pirates or Ninjas". 'Cause that makes better sense.
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| Word |
[03 May 2008|05:31pm] |
Dear Internet Homies,
So I totally used my silly free money from the gov'ment check to buy a shiny new laptop. It's not exactly a gold-plated Cadillac with spinna rimz, but it'll do. It has a pretty good sized hard drive and a good chunk o' RAM, and it'll do what I need it to do.
The upshot of this for you, my friends, is that you'll prolly be hearing a lot more from me whether you want to or not, as I will now have steady Internets on tap, 24-7. Or you might not, because I might be crazy busy downloading ridiculous amounts of pr0nz like a freakin' mad man. I guess we'll see!
Sincerely, your pal,
Josh
P.S. No, you fuckers, you won't get me to play WoW, so don't even try. That shit is for the birds.
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| Blind |
[30 Apr 2008|02:20pm] |
I rode my bicycle to work today. When I left my house it was nice and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. After running a few errands, I started to ride directly to work.
Then a lovely headwind picked up. It grew in strength until it was blowing a great deal of sand in my eyes, severely blinding me. I got off my bike and started to walk.
Then it started raining. Then it started hailing. On I walked, at least until some sympathetic soul picked my sad ass up and gave me a ride the rest of the way. It turns out he works in the control tower at the airport and the winds were reaching upwards of 30 mph. And, of course, the weather should continue in the same vein for the next several days.
Now I'm sitting here writing this, cold, soaked, and early to work. Sometimes it's a bitch stickin' it to The Man.
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| Same |
[09 Apr 2008|08:15pm] |
I was walking across the Orange Street on a late Saturday afternoon. I looked down and realized, to my surprise, that I no longer had a shadow. I contemplated, with some very mild concern, exactly what I may have done with it or where it could possibly have gone.
However, as I glanced at a passing cyclist I noticed that he also had no shadow. As the odds of two perfect strangers losing their shadows at the same time have got to be a bit on the low side, I concluded that the lack of our shadows was caused by the quality of light on this rather overcast day. I was only moderately relieved by this discovery, mainly because my shadow’s never done anything to endear itself to me. If it did have the gall to wander off it would be on it’s own lookout. I certainly would never go looking for it.
After dropping off the rent check, I decided that as I was already in the neighborhood I may as well drop by my favorite restaurant for a delicious bowl of beef pho and a side of potstickers. The waitress greeted me by name, confirmed that I wanted what she already knew I did, and promptly brought out my meal. I ate while perusing the newspaper for any interesting happenings, and upon finishing, paid the check, tipped generously, and strolled out the door.
I then leisurely strolled home where, after a brief trip to the video rental store, I settled in for an evening of delightful isolation.
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| Dirt |
[13 Mar 2008|07:47pm] |
As a simple statement of fact, my well being at work would be substantially better if he wasn't surrounded by constant bitching about the most trivial of details. This job is fine, and I like it, but the Goddamned negativity of others is wearing pretty fuckin' thin.
And I ain't talking about the customers, either.
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| Notion |
[12 Mar 2008|05:37pm] |
As a Humanist, I try to regard the human race, in general, as fairly intelligent. Or at least not to-the-bone stupid. But when you've spent just under an hour checking cabling with someone who describes his DVD player as "the box where you play your records at" and the last installer to come out to the house as "a black man, but really intelligent", well, you really wonder. If the strength of any chain is determined by it's weakest link, then I suppose we are all well and truly fucked.
I tried to jump my car today, and it went less favorable.. A very important fuse wire started smoking and was pretty much disintegrated. I think that it's important because now my car sure as hell won't start and my windshield wipers refuse to stop wiping. Which is pretty cute, to say the least. And, of course, the auto stores here don't carry the specific fuse needed which means I'll have to order it special from Nissan. At this point, I do believe that I'll say to hell with it and drag my car to a mechanic. Phneh.
For reasons best not mentioned here, I'm feeling pretty darn melancholy today.
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| Most |
[11 Mar 2008|03:21pm] |
It seems to be that I find myself much happier, generally speaking, if I coat the heart with several layers of Teflon and let nothing gain purchase that hasn't already. Perhaps I won't ascend any soaring mountaintops with this approach, but I also won't descend into any low, cold valleys. At this point, plateaus are fine by me.
Just sayin'.
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| Machine |
[06 Mar 2008|08:18pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cactus- The Pixies |
] |
Hey y'all. Just checking in to let everyone know that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. You know, if there were rumors. Which there probably weren't. But anyhow, the upshot is, I ain't dead.
And I'm doing reasonably well, all things considered.
My sweet bicycle, Gertrude, is nearly completed. All I have to do is adjust the derailleurs and she'll be good to go. As that has been proving a touch tricky, I'ma take her down to Free Cycles and get some rad tips on that. Unfortunately, it Fucking Snowed the other day, which dildoes up my plans of cruising around, at least until it all melts. So yay that.
The Situation continues. More to follow eventually.
I'm still single as hell, but tell the truth, I'm pretty much fine with that. Because, damn. I just really don't want to put forth too much of an effort to land a lady right now because I just don't see it being worth it. Ain't ruling it out, but I ain't jumpin' through no hoops for any broad.
I sorta want to be a mountain man, but I sincerely doubt mountain men can get X-Box Live, so that's kinda a dealbreaker. I s'pose I just don't want to socialize too much right now. Not that I'm swingin' to the misanthropic side of things, mind, because I'm still chill with people as a concept, but I just think that they'd be a whole lot more chill over there. Well, mostly. There are exceptions, and you should damn well know who you are.
My car shat it's alternator recently. I already got a new one installed, and it works, but it needs to be adjusted as the belt squeals like a Goddamned stuck pig. I haven't gotten to adjusting it yet, because long story short, its a rotten no-good egg-sucking P.O.S. motherfucker. But I'll get around to it when I finally work up the gumption.
And in case you had no idea, I will be in Butte come this St Pat's. I sincerely hope to see all y'all motherfuckers who have any business being there.
And other than that, I'm fine as dandelion wine, Clementine. Later, y'all.
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| Ghost |
[06 Feb 2008|10:25pm] |
So there's this girl I've really, really liked for pretty much forever. Pretty much everyone (including her, apparently) knew about it. Well, tonight I finally told her, and inquired about her feelings for me. And yeah, no. Damn it.
I mean, we're still cool, and I'm not even the slightest bit angry about anything, just sad. None of it's on her, just to be clear. It's all my deal. And I'm glad that I have a clear answer without any ambiguity involved, but still, the answer makes me want to lie down and not get up again.
If nothing else, at least this reinforces my theory that I should just drink heavily in lieu of a relationship, right? Yeah.
It's just... still... man.
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| More |
[31 Jan 2008|03:05pm] |
"Goddamn it, you've got to be kind!"
-Kurt Vonnegut
As there's no totally pompous way to just come out and say this, I'm just gonna throw it out there: I've decided to take up Humanism as a lifestance.
Basically, Humanism is all about recognizing the basic dignity and worth of every human being and working to make life better for others. In other words, be kind to others and don't be a dick. I want to be a good person but, let's face it, I'm not overly religious, so I'm not compelled by faith to be a decent bloke. I want to be good just for the sake of being good, not for the expectation of material or spiritual rewards. Humanism fits the bill.
So from here on out, I'm going to do my best to go out of the way to be kind to others, for no other reason than that's what I believe in doing.
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| Run |
[30 Jan 2008|07:19pm] |
Yeah, so it's totally my birthday today. Wooooooo, I guess? 26 Goddamn years old now. Four more years until Carousel, so yay for that.
Already had my party, though, and let me tell y'all, it was a regular ol'
hootenanny! We had Rock Band (which is the greatest game ever made, just so you know), Wizard Staffs made of beer cans (well, Todd and I did) and silly hats (again, Todd and I, and Ann for a little bit.) A fantastic time was had by everyone that mattered, which was pretty much everyone. Peter made me a delicious batch of his white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies, and Delicious and Ashley got me a giftcard to Cold Stone Creamery, which means free ice cream for my ass. So yeah. Total net gain this weekend.
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| Darn |
[22 Jan 2008|07:43pm] |
So last night I was just kinda kickin' back, rockin' some Odin Sphere, trying to finally get through with that game, when lo! There's a knock upon the apartment door!
So I go see who it is, and it's the girlfriend of one of the fellows across the hallway. Apparently what happened is that she got kicked out by her roommates for some reason, hoofed it all drunk-like to her boyfriend's house and no one was home. So, she wanted to borrow fifty cents to make a phone call. I told her that she could just use my phone, wouldn't be a problem, but she couldn't remember her boyfriend's number. So she asked if it would be cool and wouldn't bother me if she just waited on the staircase for him to get home. (My apartment layout consists of a staircase with two apartments facing each other at the top, FYI.) I said sure, that was fine, and shortly left to go kick it at Delicious and Ashly's.
Cue about four hours later, about three in the morning or so, I get back home and she's still there! And she has no idea where her boyfriend or his roommate are. So I, being myself, offered to either drive her someplace if she had a anywhere to go or let her crash the night on the couch. Well, she took the couch option and promptly passed out. When I woke up around ten or so, she was already gone, blanket folded neatly on the couch. Hopefully her boyfriend or his roommate finally got home, because it was pretty cold this morning and I'd hate to think she was wandering around outside because she sure as hell wasn't dressed for it. But hell, I did what I could.
In other news... well, there's not really a whole lot to report to The Internet, I'm afraid. I mean, there is stuff going on, but it's best to keep it on the DL for the most part. I'm sure you understand, The Internet. Thanks, you're the best.
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| Rolling |
[14 Jan 2008|03:02am] |
So I totally got a bike this weekend! I'm pretty stoked about it.
I was dicking around in a pawnshop a few days ago and saw this absolutely rad bike that I totally had to get. She called to me, y'dig? I had no choice but to take her home.
She's a mid-70's Schwinn 10-speed of a beautifully vibrant green. Even though she needs a little bit of cleaning up, is a little rusty, she runs smooth as a dream and hauls all sorts of ass. It's going to make a delightful project to clean her up, pimp her out, and zip around town like a motherfucker.
And her name is Gertrude. Because, well, she looks like a Gertrude. So there.
Here's a crappy picture of Gertrude.
I like her a lot.
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| Throwing |
[03 Jan 2008|07:46pm] |
You ever feel that you, whatever you're doing, and the place you're doing it in are completely wrong?
And you have no idea what to do about it?
Let me tell you: It sucks.
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| Ain't |
[20 Dec 2007|07:12pm] |
Well, there goes another one. Carmen and I are Splitsville, y'all. Details will not be forthcoming, because the relationship's dead and eulogies really only comfort the living. And as I'm the only one that'd be comforted by throwing it out there to the Internet wolves, well, t' hell wi'it.
I really am honestly tired of this. Not "sick and tired", or "fucking goddamned tired", just tired. Weary. Fatigued. I put time and energy into a relationship, doing things and going out of my way for someone as much as I can, and even though I didn't do anything wrong, fuck anyone's sister or kill anyone's dog, I still get kicked to the curb. It's getting old, and I say that with no anger.
I'm tired of starting over. It's like I'm a second-string boyfriend, only brought out when needed and immediately benched when no longer required. Then the song starts over again as someone else comes along and decides that I might be fun for a little while, but though the lyrics might change, the tune always stays the same. And it's not even a very catchy tune at that.
I'm A Boy With No Shadow- I can be seen and heard, but am so insubstantial that I can't even block the light. I know I'm real, that's not the question, but how real? How much do I matter to anyone else? It's hard to tell. I matter a great deal to myself, and maybe that's what I'll have to settle for. It's a hard dollar, but it might be the only one I have.
I think I just need to not bother with it. For forever, for a week, who knows? I'm not even going to deal, and whatever may happen, happens, but I'm damn sure not going to instigate anything. Anytime I even get the idea of a consideration to start anything (and I'm pretty sure I won't, if my current sense on relationship-based ennui holds) I'm going to get a case of beer and drown whatever idiot part of myself that came up with such a self-destructive idea. And should anything come up, with no effort on my behalf, I'm going to have to think long and hard before considering getting caught up again, because Lord knows the odds are not in my favor, and never have been.
I am a lizard with no pulse and cold to the touch. And I'm going to do my best to stay that way for a while.
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| Dollar |
[14 Dec 2007|10:02pm] |
Dear Internet,
Today... today sucks. My tire blew out completely on the way to work, and that was the good part of my day. Except for hanging out with Carmen. That was nice.
I'ma kill some people. I will invent a time machine, go to the future, get my old-ass self, and drop him to the past and have him murder several people. They won't be able to prosecute me for this, see, because with my future self killing people, I didn't do it. Yet. And Minority Report be damned, they can't bust your ass for shit you ain't done yet.
Phneh.
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| Head |
[11 Dec 2007|02:26am] |
I want a robot body.
I want my brain to be scooped out of my sad organic skull and slapped right into the titanium braincase of a state-of-the-art android.
On the surface, my android body would be indistinguishable from the organic, save for whatever physical features I would like to change.
I would retain all the basic wants and desires of an organic body, with all the positive physical abilities and none of the limitations.
I would be as powerful as you can imagine an android to be, and as fast.
I would be a sex god.
I would be able to fully utilize my entire brain, making it serve as a immensely powerful supercomputer.
I would store all my MP3s in my superbrain, organizing them into countless files, playing them mentally with no need for headphones, changing volume and sound with the merest of thoughts, and automatically fade them out when I need to pay attention to something else.
My eyes would be digital cameras of the highest quality, be able to perceive each spectrum of light, recording all that I see in both still images and video, and backing it all up on my braindrive as I see fit.
I would be powered by the smallest nuclear reactor ever devised by mankind.
I would have a hidden panel on my chest with all the normal ports and CD/DVD drives of your typical high-end computer, with room to spare for upgrades and mods.
Any unpleasant memories or experiences would simply be deleted.
I would only eat or drink for pleasure, not for sustenance, and any flavor or effects from my food or beverages would be immaculately simulated in my brain by sensors on my inorganic tongue.
Any pleasant effects from alcoholic beverages would also be simulated, and I would be able to switch them off instantly if the need arose.
Unpleasant effects, such as hangovers, would be nonexistent.
Any food or drink taken into my body would be excreted in the usual fashion, except it would all be super-compressed into tiny pellets, would be completely odorless due to my body's filtration systems, and it would be excreted at my convenience, not when biology dictates.
I would not need to sleep, but would probably do so anyway, if only to dream.
I would have HUD capabilities, allowing me to display images and video over my field of vision.
I would receive high-speed wireless internet directly into my brain.
I would download files directly into my memory for instant access, hang out on my favorite websites all day, constantly stream video and music, and chat to friends anywhere and any time I damn well please.
As with controlling my music, any navigation done on the internet would be done mentally.
The same goes for any computer games that I would care to play.
I would have several robot drones of myself made, and I would have them go to work, run errands, or anything else that I don't personally want to do, controlling their every movement in real time through a wireless LAN, with my brain serving as an incredibly powerful router.
I would live as long as I wished, and whenever I got too bored or discontent I would go into standby mode to kill time.
I would awaken either at a preset time or whenever a background program connected to the internet detects something I would find interesting has occured.
I want a robot body.
Science had better hurry the fuck up, because I'm not getting any younger.
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| Researched! |
[10 Dec 2007|05:39pm] |
"So," he asked, "are you ready to go dance yet?"
"No," I replied. "More research is needed."
"Research?", he inquired with a smile, hoisting his half-empty pint glass.
"Yes. Research."
I saw The Clumsy Lovers last night, and they were flat-out awesome. It was really one of the better shows in recent memory, in fact. The usual fiddle player, Andrea, wasn't there as she has come down with an acute case of pregnant, so they had not one, but two temp fiddlers, and it was quite the spectacle. They both knew what they were doing, and it made for a fantastic show, I'll tell you what. The first set was all well and good, you know, the usual sauce, but goddamn y'all, did the second set ever rock! Lordy! They had the usual jamfest, going from song to song to song, covering AC/DC, The Who, Johnny Cash, Van Morrison, The Beatles, The Violent Femmes, and God know who else in a big ol' delicious stew of bluegrass, folk, rock, and awesome. The crowd was totally into it, and some guy got up on stage and sang "Dirty Deeds" with the Clumsys, mainly because that guy was the only person in the audience who actually knew the words. He was actually pretty impressive, I might add. And when the show was over, they even came out for a second encore because the audience pretty much demanded that it be so.
It was a fine show, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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